...in the snow-covered hills...

The scenery reminds me of a Dixie Chicks cover song...

"I took my love and I took it down,
I climbed a mountain and I turned around,
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills,
Well the landslide brought me down"

This is somewhat how I feel. Although I have been truly happy and sincerely upbeat recently, I have had a bit of a week. Work has been great, but demanding, finishing work more than an hour late every day this week.

I called home this week and chatted with my sister, Myriam, and she truly made me miss home. A lot of times, I reflect on things and feel bad for being away at crucial times in my siblings' lives, not being around to chat and encourage them, but it starts hurting when they make the comment that they miss it too. I was hoping I was making too big of a deal about it and that they wouldn't have noticed. However, I was reminded this week that they have noticed. What really made an impression too, this week, was that my brother J-P, who's my age and usually very distant and uninterested, called me out of the blue to chat. He and his girlfriend broke up recently and he moved out from their apartment. And he just needed to call and talk. I felt honored, yet very surprised as we have never really had a relationship...

"Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life"

I am blessed by the changes in my life, yet always a little uncertain, unsettled and nervous. I am really counting on my trip to Africa to shake off the feeling that I am settling down. As much as I wanted to work on my "career" and get somewhere, as much as I now feel that there's no rush. I also want to enjoy life, see the world, appreciate living for the only sake of living (not because it's getting me somewhere). Then, later, once I have done that, I can settle down and enjoy routine. But not now...

"Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
’cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I’m getting older too"

And thru all of this, I am reminded that I have not been forgotten. God's timing is perfect, and His vision all-encompassing whereas mine is severely restricted to the "here and now". Good to know somebody cares.

Sorry for my mood. It's been good to share it with you. ;)

Have a great Friday. I'll write again soon...

Love, always

Annik