A comfort zone of my own

As much as I appreciate comfort and stability, I have yet to reconcile with routine. I still have quite a hard time with the idea of a routine because that, to me, screams "settling down" and I am not ready for that. I have made peace with the fact that I will be in Banff for a while and that brings me comfort. But I still struggle with feelings of being tied down and controlled by my wallet. In other words, my earnings and spending dictate what I can and cannot do, and even who I am and what become. I despise the idea that paper with a made-up value is making decisions for me, but, hey, I better get used to it, because things are not going to change anytime soon.

Not only that, but I often feel guilty for all the comfort I have. After having seen living conditions in some other places in the world, and spending my days selling luxury vacations to wealthy seniors, I cannot feel any other way but guilty. I have more than I can ever need. I have a nice apartment, a good car, a paying job (mind you, I refrain from saying a great paying job – cause it’s not!), enough clothes to wear different ones every day, enough shoes to be picky about color and style, more food than I can eat in a day, a great family to support me, and wonderful friends around me. Really, what more can I ask for! I am blessed through and through. Still, I find the way to want more, compare myself to somebody else, and desire material things I don’t need to survive. How spoiled rotten am I to be living in a corner of the world that people spend thousands of dollars to come and see, while I get to enjoy it daily and, most of it, free of charge. I manage to make a living for myself in one of the most expensive places to live in Canada. All of this blabbing to say that I feel really blessed to have great people around me such Shane, Nikole, Jen, Joy, Rachel, Michael, Andre (and many others) who all share different pieces of me, in different environments.

As for day-to-day life here, I am doing very good. Work has been great, I am learning tons, enjoying what I am doing, working with some great coworkers. I went backcountry skiing for the first time last Sunday. I had a good time, although I didn’t think it through and used my downhill boots with the rented skis. I ended up skiing like a duck for several hours, spending way more energy than I should’ve. Still, Nicole & Mel were great to hang in there with me! (I also scored some of the biggest blisters I’ve had in a while (3 to be exact!). I am hoping my feet are doing ok for cross-country skiing tomorrow.

A big thank you to my friend Michael, along with my Canmore friends for the birthday cake they made for me on Monday. It made me happy to have people celebrating my special day. I am turning 22 tomorrow and I am quite ready for it!

Love,

Annik